01 April 2010

Sylvia Plath featured on Oprah's Book Club


CHICAGO (AP) -- Oprah's Book Club has made their 2010 selection and is set to unveil the winner when the Oprah Winfrey Show broadcasts today, April 1, 2010. In a bold move, the selection committee chose an older title which was published in 2004 and which, according to statistics, has been read by fewer than 6 people. The move to choose Sylvia Plath by Peter K. Steinberg was made, according to Winfrey, "due to Plath's iconic status not just in the literary world, but for the high quality and continuity of the self-perpetuating family drama." Winfrey added, "Like Plath said, it's 'An engine, an engine.'" The selection committee included two stars of MTV's Jersey Shore and former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich, all of whom knows something about drama.

"The Situation", illustrating some Plath knowledge, texted, "She b kool. Id frend her on fb. I rhymes alls the times." JWoww, the other Jersey Shore celebrity judge, relates to Plath, "Like me, she's a preying mantis. Bitin' the heads offa men when she done with'um" Blagojevich, seen cashing a check from Steinberg, pulled the hood of his camoflague jacket over his said, "You so can't see me now." The international panel of judges was headed by Chippy Minton, of Trumpton, who said he has been a fan of Plath, "Ever since she wrote that story about spending Sunday with my relatives in America. Quite an imagination, indeed." Liam Gallagher, formerly of Oasis and under consideration to replace Simon Cowell on American Idol, cannot be quoted here due to the unintelligibility of whatever it was he said.

Steinberg, who is set to appear as "P-Train" next season on the Jersey Shore was thrilled, saying, "I got boobs because I need a 'thing' to be on the show." When asked, "Why boobs?", Steinberg commented, "I should quote Plath to explain. The reason I wanted them is because I was tired of

'That flat, flat, flatness from which ideas, destructions,
Bulldozers, guillotines, white chambers of shrieks proceed,
Endlessly proceed--and the cold angels, the abstractions.'"

As is clear from the image, Steinberg had an upset stomach. "There were too many onions in the lobster pot-pie and I shouldn't have had the waffles and ice cream. But, come on, it's waffles AND ice cream."

8 comments :

Anonymous said...

That would be great. Two judges you can't understand (Randy and Liam) and you you can't stand (Kara and whomever else)...

Catty said...

Love the pearls, P-Train.

Peter K Steinberg said...

Thanks Catty!! They were a present.

Anonymous said...

The pearls are Plathalicious! So when is Oprah inviting you back to pick your bones like she did to James Frey? :-) kim

Peter K Steinberg said...

Thanks. I was like so nervous being with Oprah (a President-maker!) and when the interview was done they have to pick the pearls off of me like sticky worms. Er, um..

George Fitzgerald said...

Very good Peter! You look like a reincarnation of Gertrude Stein! Now if only Oprah really would pick you book ...!

angelictenderbutton said...

you're silly!

Julia said...

you had me for half a second...

Had you not had the picture up, I might have believed it a second longer!

I wish that kind of success for your book, to be sure. Just not the pearls.

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